Missing Pieces: Garrett's journey from shadow to light

March 14, 2018

March 12th

 

A friend asked the question for Monday’s visit:  Did I see any progress? This was my response:

I say yes with hesitation. I was held up because of traffic, so it was only an hour visit. I wanted more, but that was all I could do today. Why I hesitate to answer if I saw any progress is because they have upped his dose to stop the breakthroughs, but now he isn’t drinking and eating again.

 

As I placed my hands on the icy metal door and pushed through into the the puke green floor I found myself searching for Garrett. The nurse could see my worried face and explained that he was in his room. I quickened my pace down the hallway, hearing new screams, and strange noises coming from behind the closed door. I gently knocked and said his name, I found him on his bed surrounded by paper bags and him rocking in the middle of the dimly lit room. He was in a hallucination and when he finally saw me , he told the others to leave, and that it was my turn. He swallowed hard and licked his dry cracked lips, and smiled! It was a real Garrett smile.

 

I went to hug him and he forcefully said no! Then he shook his head and said that he was sorry and he plunged into how Mulan (Disney movie), has helped him to fight off the evil today!! He was so proud of himself. I squeezed his hand and said I was too. Then he yanked me off the bed and said I need to tell the story of Mulan to strengthen himself! And he plunged in. We walked up and down the hall for 54 minutes while he replayed, repeated, and acted out (complete with music, songs, sound effects, and actions 2/3rds) of the movie scene by scene. It was a performance unlike anything I have ever seen. He was focused! He was thrilled to be sharing it. He was going through the motions and actions as we walked and walked, then the light left, the shadow fell and he nearly collapsed onto the floor. 

 

 

I helped him to his room and back to his bed. He fell into a breakthrough (probably from sheer exhaustion), and so I worked and messaged his head until he stopped. He asked me to forgive him. To forgive all of his sins. All of the times that he didn’t eat of drink. I told him that I did. He whispered that he is hiding his mixture in the bathroom. Then he passed out. I whispered a prayer for him and walked out. Before I left I checked out his bathroom, his fluids were placed everywhere and his clothing had been laid out in a display on the floor as if some one had been running. So,  to answer the question--was there progress? Yes—with hesitation. Yes he had less breakthroughs while I was there. Yes, he was able to focus in on something for over 5 minutes. Yes, he had glimpses of Garrett while he was talking. I have to see where the positive things are.

 

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