Supports and Resources
Be FREE of DV by Making a Plan; You Can!
An exit plan is a practical plan that includes ways to remain safe while in a relationship, planning to leave, or after you leave.
Exit planning involves many steps i.e: how to cope with your feelings, build your support network with friends and family, share with others about the abuse, take legal action, etc.
Please call 1-800-799-7233 the National DV Hotline for more supports and help.
A good exit plan will have: information, tailor it to your unique situation and will help you to get out. It is your plan with advocate help.
Remember that a good plan will have: 1) networking, 2) help you to cope with feelings, 3) think of a safe place to go to, 4) stash of cash, 5) supports.
You have been thinking about your plan for a while; practice it! Please remember that under stress, our brains don't always respond the way we want, so rehearse the plan and make sure you are calm. Having an exit plan laid out and practiced will help to protect yourself in the heat of the moment.
Birth certificates and social security cards for yourself and your children
Driver’s license and/or passports
Marriage, divorce, or custody papers
Legal protection or restraining orders
Health insurance cards and medical records
Car title, registration, and insurance documentation
Cash and prepaid credit cards that can’t be traced
Prepaid cell phone or a cell phone with a new contract and number. Try to keep it fully charged.
Current medications and prescriptions for yourself and your children
Clothing for you and children
Spare set of keys
Three-part VLOG Series to Stop Abuse
6 Part Mini-course Vlog Series:
DV Why is it your Problem?
Pinpoints of Light: Escaping the Abyss of Abuse
Mental illness. Addiction. Pain. Fear. Control. Abuse. What images do those words stir in your mind’s eye? For me, those words paint a darkening abyss filled with millions of gallons of heaviness, guilt, and duty trapping me in tangible darkness. My former spouse could not see us, or find us because he was locked away in his own mind of mental illness and then became trapped by substance abuse.
He had suffered painful experiences in his childhood, and that pain wrapped and twisted his mind and genetically mental illness runs in his family. I share the stories as he told them to me: sometimes during drunken depressed states, and other times with sober clarity to give background. I describe abuse in two ways: the hunter and the caged animal. Both ultimately have control as the foundation. His mental illness was awakened from his pain, and as stress was added to it, he needed to control everything. How? As a caged animal strikes out at anyone to free itself, others are damaged in that process.
In nine years of marriage, we went through various stages incredible rays of sun, to dimming light, to growing darkness, to finally inky blackness of the abyss of abuse. Why do I share this story? I write it for the victim. Why? Because there is more than hope, there is light, and I want you to know that you have worth within you more than you can ever know.
I am an author, speaker, and life strengthening coach who helps the battered, beaten, and broken discover their strength to heal so that they become a victor in light! My story is what I learned as I descended into this dark abyss and how I found pinpoints of light that led me back out of it. The events that occurred will be told in the most accurate way I can: from my journals.
It brings me hope to know this book will give each reader an opportunity to learn the processes I used when escaping my abyss of abuse. My clients, their advocates, and the supporters deepen their value and their self worth because they learn that they are WORTH it!
If you would like to read more about my story, read my book Pinpoints of Light: Escaping the Abyss of Abuse coming November 2018.