Three Part Series: There’s Nothing and Everything Domestic at Work
Part 3: Supporter’s Toolkit Become Someone’s Gloria Today
For myself, I had three main supporters that helped me to get out of Domestic Violence. 1) family, 2) a co-worker, 3) a stranger who was in the right place at the right time--her name was Gloria. All of my supporters were knew how to do one thing: they built trust with me. They were there for me when I was ready to make my move. Without them, I would have never made it out and I’m 99% sure I would have been a news story on the evening news.
We all know people, even if they are a stranger, in questionable situations. As friends, family, co-workers, and strangers, WHAT can we do to help them? We want to be a light for them to get out of the darkness! How do we help them out of this abuse?
ANSWER?? Become someone’s Gloria
The night we ran we needed to find shelter--a place to stay for a few days. We found it in one amazing woman named Gloria. She never asked questions of us, but rather, she built trust and loved us. Yes, she was a clerk at a hotel, but she was there for us. She helped us to feel safe. She was always there when we would arrive “home” after such long hard emotional days. She shared hope. She never pried.
If I asked for help she offered it. There was one day following work that I showed a picture of my abuser to her and she winked and said: “she’d keep an eye on things.” When he came looking for us, she tipped us off. And in the rush of leaving she helped to give us hope. She never fixed us or gave us advice. She just loved, loved, loved, and never judged, judged, judged. GLORIA was the ULTIMATE SUPPORTER!
WHAT is a SUPPORTER??
Do you know someone who is in an abusive situation?--then you are a supporter!
Are you a friend, a neighbor, or a family member of that victim?--Then you are a supporter!
Now that you know you are a supporter, do you:
Want to help them but YOU don’t know how?
Feel frustrated and confused because you don’t know what to say to them?
What is the number one question people ask when they hear about abuse and domestic violence?
Why doesn’t she just leave?
As a friend and a supporter, you may want to tell them to leave. I mean it would be the most logical thing to say right?
According to the research and statistics of the National Domestic Violence coalition, this is one of the worst things you can say! Why? because you never know the danger of the situation.
Do you want to know the answer to the number one question: why doesn’t she just leave?
Leaving is often the most dangerous time for a victim of abuse, because abuse is about power and control. When a victim leaves, they are taking control and threatening the abusive partner’s power, which could cause the abusive partner to retaliate in very destructive ways which can be physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and financially.
I developed the Supporter's Toolkit.
It is a training program geared to teach supporter/advocacy skills co-workers, friends, and employees about helping people who are in Domestic Abuse/Intimate Partner Abuse.
WHAT IS THE BENEFIT OF THE SUPPORTERS TOOLKIT?
Learn how to position yourself as “Someone’s Gloria”
Understand what TO say to the Victim and what NOT to say to the victim
The Supporter’s toolkit will teach you TWO TOP Skills:
How to draw Boundaries in a clearly defined way.
Empathy the three step process to understanding the victim
If you are an employer, a friend, or a family member and want to have this training for company,