Dusk or dawn? Do we follow the light or listen to the negativity?
In a photograph, how can you tell if the deep pink hues of light are rising by degrees as dawn, or falling by degrees as dusk? Light in the dawn of the morning rises gently by degree minute by minute until the sun has risen filling the day with light, with warmth, and with life. Darkness, however, dims the light. As light begins to fade degree-by-degree the darkness begins to enfold and snuffs out the rest of the light as in dusk.
The darkness that I faced in my life and in my abusive marriage did not descend all at once or like when a switch is turned off and darkness snuffs out the light suddenly. My darkness was teasing. It would feel like a dawn, but in reality it was dusk. I thought that the light would be getting brighter, but really it was going down.
For years the darkening power cast out my light by its powerful negative talk. I had been through counselors, through therapy, done confessions, but nothing would really penetrate that dark entanglement of thorny, sharp, thick, forest of words that barraged my brain. The entanglement was so dense that I had lost all hope of finding light or peace. If I was given the slightest flicker or flame of hope, it’s cold steely breath of a word would blow it out causing grey black smoke to rise instead.
I had fallen for the trap of the negativity by believing the dark words. It was a very passive-aggressive voice that I had been trying to please. I had become my inner child, weak and vulnerable. I was facing a dark demon and all I did was try to please it. I never fought the hard entanglement of words. I let the words ensnare me and pull me into more crushing darkness. Suddenly as the last layer of darkness grabbed at me and I was ready to be snuffed out, I saw a pinpoint of light through the sharp black entanglement of thorns. And I focused on it.
If you have ever felt like this and at the last moment you are snatched free BELIEVE that you are worthy of that light!
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