6 part Blog Series The Supporter’s Gap: Why Domestic Violence is your Problem part 2
Domestic Violence Not A Home Issue; It Bleeds onto Society!
Let's start here.
Ripped from HEADLINE NEWS:
30 Dead in 13 hours
Dayton, Ohio, Shooting 25 down in 2 days
Virginia Beach: 12 killed after city worker opens fire at Colleagues
Texas Shooting Rampage Leaves Several Dead
Boy Kills Four and Wounds one in Utah’s Works Mass Shooting since 2007
Let's start here. The first blog talked about how 1 in 4 women have been in abuse and that 87,000 women are killed each year. We learned how high those numbers are. We learned that it is the most preventable death in the world.
Now let's look at what is happening in the Headline News! What is happening here? Reread those headlines! What? Mass Shootings? I thought we were talking about Domestic Violence. Well, here are the latest statistics.
All Mass shootings in the United States have one thing in common: Domestic Violence!1
What? Yes!! Domestic Violence!
The attackers were motivated by personal grievances and retaliating for various things like bullying, family matters, and Domestic Violence. All the attacks were thought out and premeditated, not impulsive. As a Nation, we went through three high profile mass shootings in four days in 2019.2 To this date that has been the highest percentage.
Fact, there is a discrepancy about how a MASS shooting is described the FBI defines it as a killing there 4 more people are killed not including the attacker. Others define it as 6 or more.3 I think the point is that there have been 217 shootings in the United States in 2019 where 4 or more people were killed at one time involving a firearm and involving 75% of family members.4
According to an article in the NY Times “A common trait for mass killers is hatred towards women.”5 According to Business Insider, they report, “The men behind the US's deadliest mass shootings have domestic violence — not mental illness — in common.” And according to the Mercury News, “The majority of mass killings involve domestic violence, and eight of 74 public mass shootings since 2006 involved the killing of a blood relative, the data shows.”6 And according to CBS News, police are at the highest risk when responding to do a domestic violence call.
Why does violence, abuse, emotional, mental, financial, as well as physical happen? There is a need to be in control, a need to be right, a need to have the power of another, a need to never feel powerless again. Abuse in all of its forms fits that definition perfectly.
This is no longer a “domestic issue or a ‘women's issue.’”
This is our issue!
It is not a “stranger to a stranger” problem. This is now a “neighbor to neighbor” problem because so many are being impacted.
Do you now see how Domestic Violence bleeds into our society?
It sparks a whole range of questions:
1. What is going on with the American Family?
2. Why are so many people so upset to the point that they are killing their own family members and then turning it on society?
3. What is happening to our boys who are becoming men?
4. What is happening to the men who do this?
5. What happened in their past to provide such a pain point that loss of life is the only answer?
These questions are a challenge to answer. We know that the family unit is the fabric of a strong society. But if this foundational piece of our fabric is weak, how do we strengthen it? It all comes back to home. Parents, family, aunts, uncles, teachers, we are on the frontlines.
How do we as a society then reverse this trend? What if we start at the most basic level and simply:
1.Love our children and
2. Build healthy relationships with them
3. So that they, in turn, can love, nurture, and provide for their family.
4. Teach and follow the Golden Rule
That is going to buck against the current trend of "polarization, revenge, if you can’t agree with me then you are my enemy" society that is happening right now. This “pick a side” mentality really divides the conversation from truly loving and helping others.
So again, what is the difference that you can make in your own family? Seek to build your own self-worth—your light, help build up other’s self-worth with gentleness and love. Self-evaluation of where you stand is a great start and still make a choice to love others.
There are pockets of healthiness, but let’s build on this and make it family to family, neighbor to neighbor.
Some will argue that that answer is too simple. It might be but simply doesn’t make it easy. The answer to love others and use the Golden Rule means that if we want to change these numbers about mass shootings we are going to have to address Domestic Violence head-on as a massive problem in our society and communities. That means we have to address all parts of society and communities. And we address it, one person at a time with the Golden Rule.
Remember that the underlying connecting factor with all of the mass shootings is Domestic Violence. And so—it is our problem and it is something that we are going to need to take care of one person, one family, and one house at a time. What will you do today?
Next week’s blog the 6 part series will continue with “What does Domestic Violence have to do with me?”