top of page

Because I left DV Blessing # 5,870: Shame Shadow

Because I left Domestic Violence Blessing number 5,870: Shame Shadow

Top 3 Ways to Defeat that Negative Voice in Your Head

Shame Shadow©:

It is the negative dark voice in our head. You know the one. It’s been with you since you were a child. It was awakened by an act, by words that someone said, or by an event. It is the voice of the destroyer. The voice of doubt, blame, guilt, and finally, shame. It starts around age three.

Shame Shadow© has two ways to talk to you: 1) it says, “you are ______enough” meaning he knows our weaknesses and so he will fill in that blank with something that will really get to us. Or 2) “Who do you think you are?” This also has a wide variety of what it sounds like to us.

Here’s the rub; to be absolutely clear about the Shame Shadow, you will never get rid of it. Why? Because there is “opposition in all things?” It will always be there.

Now that you know what it is, how do you defeat it?

Top 3 Ways to Defeat that Negative Voice in Your Head

  1. Know your Enemy.

  2. Please, Perform, Perfect

  3. Choices!

Know your Enemy:

Know your enemy. How can you fight off what you don’t know? It’s pretty tough to get the upper hand on things if you don’t know what you are facing. So look at the shadow, learn what it says to you, and how it makes you feel. See how big or small it is. See how it talks to your weaknesses and tries to convince you that’s all you are.

Learn to recognize the voice of the Shame Shadow. Basically, if it is negative then it's the Shadow talking to you. It might sound different to each one of us, but really the message is the same, don’t progress, stay stuck, you are worthless, and blah, blah, blah. Are you blahed?

Pleasing, Performing and Perfecting

Do you feel you have to please everyone? Perform for others, or be Perfect? If so, then then you are looking into the shadow and buying into his lies. Now to be clear, being kind to others and wanting to do your best must be driven by love and self-worth, and NOT to GAIN the love and praise of others. That is the difference.


You know that everything you do every day comes down to a choice.

Are you choosing to react or be proactive? A reactive choice is that of victimhood, blame, and no responsibility? That means you are focused in the darkness—the shadow. When that happens, make a choice to turn to the Light.

Personally, there are times when I have to throat punch the Shadow and make my boundaries clearer for the Shadow and for me. Remember this, the Shadow will always be there because of opposition in all things—where there is light, there is darkness. But it is your choice to bask in the Light of the Son or to turn to the darkness.

***Forgive yourself when you slip back to listening to the lies or if you are just stuck in the dark. Know that light is just one head turn away!

Light and Darkness

What do you do if you now know the difference between them? Stay in the light. Bring others towards it.

You don’t have to look at it, listen to it, or turn to it. You can turn away from it and feel the light of the Son in your face. When we face the Light, we are not facing the darkness of the shadow. In light, you are reflecting his light and in the reflection, your own light is strengthening. So, always shine out for others to see. You are blessed with gifts so, embrace them and Shine.

Final thoughts:

Be that light in the deepest darkness.

Millions will see it, but few will follow.

All that matters is that you shine.

What others do with it is their choice!

Remember to defeat the Shame Shadow in your life:

  • Know your Enemy.

  • Please, Perform, Perfect

  • Choices

If this speaks to you, Please check out more steps on how to defeat the Shame Shadow and heal as if your life depends on it, because it does, by getting a copy of my book: Out of Darkness

I just checked it today and Amazon has slashed the price to less than $10 you can be on your healing journey. Now that’s incredible. If I can help at least one person leave their darkness, then it is worth it!

Share with us your experience here in my Beacon of light FB group.

Join me today at 3:30 pm as I go Live to share with you more about this. And as always, like share and subscribe. Thank you to the 141 people who did that recently. You are such light!

19 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page