Domestic Violence and Abuse Triggers...
by April Tribe Giauque
MEN, Satan is at war with you!
MEN, please help other men to stand up and stand with Christ!
Today while taking a break from writing, I scrolled to see how a few of my posts were doing, and I came across a post (I'll share below) that undid me.
My mind crashed through the 9.5 years of my first marriage. In the beginning, it was a dream filled with love, honesty, and then the entanglement of mental illness, lies, substance abuse, psychological and physical abuse pulled us into the abyss. It's been 15 years since we left. I got out and can tell my tale.
I flashed back to the thought of my wedding—my first wedding. You can see here in this picture that we were in love. The whole world lay ahead for us, and we had similar goals, wants, and desires. But what happened? I share that in my book Pinpoints of Light Escaping the Abyss of Abuse.
What poured out of me was a prayer. I usually keep my prayers just between God and myself, but the Spirit fired my heart, and I had to respond in pray. The clarity of the war on MEN—yes, I said MEN and NOT WOMEN—became absolutely clear. Satan is destroying men so that all families will fail.
If we as a society are going to help change the STORY of domestic Violence, we have to face the fact that as the family fails, more and more lives are literally destroyed! We have decades of statistics to prove it.
Now some of you might roll your eyes at that, but thank you for respecting me and my beliefs. Y'all, I'm not going woo-woo on you. I know that God lives and that our life here is a test to see what team we will choose. Satan and his demons are very cunning and hold on to so many. This is Satan's goal to confuse us.
Heavenly Father, this tragic story raises the question of what is happening to the men in this world? What is happening to thy sons? It comes down to the fundamental element of the FAMILY being torn apart. Our world loves the narrative of eliminating men, but this is the mother of all lies from the destroyer!
Father, thou blessed us each with the Light of Christ. We can take this light and shine forth and amplify truth if we turn away from the destruction of the Shame Shadow and live together with the best we can with thee and our families. That takes all of us Fathers, Mothers, and children.
Fathers and mothers are the center of the family, with Christ as our foundation! Fathers need to stay and raise their kids. Fathers need to teach their boys and girls how to love, honor each other. Fathers need to teach their boys that they are kings! Fathers need to teach their daughters that they are loved and have great worth—they are queens! Dear Father, help fathers to teach their sons how to protect and provide for their families. Father help thy sons to do that by loving, respecting, and honoring the women in their lives. This means the man needs to be in the home and set these BOUNDARIES!
I weep for this sweet woman and her dead child. I weep for him, the man who destroys them and himself. I weep for the man's mom--I'm sure she did the best she should with what she had, but in the end, it might not have been enough, and now, three are ripped apart—dead.
God, please guide thy sons to follow Christ, love Christ, and love women the way Christ did with the gospel. Women are the causalities of boys not becoming men. If the numbers are this high (1 in 4 women abused) and death is the result, then men, STAND UP and BE MEN! Heavenly Father, please bless our boys to become men! Wouldst thou, please bless us to return to love and a place that values the family.
Other MEN, I plead, please, reach out and help your fellow man be a man! Women, stand strong, and if you are in this place, make a plan to get out, build your network, build time to heal, and pray to God that the man you left gets help so that he finds Christ and stops the destructive behavior.
He needs so much help so that he won't hurt more of thy sons and daughters. I know that they have all entered into the Spirit World. Please send thy angels to heal them in Heaven and heal us here on earth. I say this In the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN!
The aftermath of such a response left me reflecting on something my dear friend, Audrey May Prosper, says,
"The more we begin to recognize the neurological and psychological connection to violence the better off we will be. You see, the desire for pleasure will always override pain in the brain. Therefore it is our beliefs as a society and individuals that will transform the behaviors of violence to those of peace."
If we were to change the way we understand DV, we must know that both parties (*the victim and the abuser) have pain. There is a neurological and psychological connection to violence, and we need to help BOTH parties.
That was the Spirit bringing clarity to me as it came through the prayer.
*if we continue to use labels like victims and abusers, we will hinder their healing and growth.
My dears, it is so close to Christmas, and we have an opportunity to spread God's light and love to others. We choose to shine and amplify our light towards others with that light.
If you feel moved by this, please join us. Help us change advocacy fundamentally to serve and help both parties involved with DV. Click here to join.
In reflection again, I look back on that wedding photo posted at the top of this blog post and think the following:
1) Is he getting the help he needs?
2) Is he ready to accept the help that is extended?
3) Is he on his healing journey towards Christ?
4) Has prison given him the chance to read the word of God?
5) Is he getting the psychological help he needs (court-ordered medical help)?
6) Will he be a changed man once he gets out, or will he not have support and fall back into bad habits?
7) Will we be hunted again, or will we live in peace? (I ask that not with fear but as a reality).
All I can do is pray for him and the five children he abandoned as I try to help them cope with their pain and demons from what they witnessed while we were married. They are still hurting. Counseling and supports are helpful, but they are still broken. They feel that victimhood within their own lives, and all I can do is guide them to find their own light even when it has shrunk to a pinpoint.
When it is all said and done, we have choices to make. Satan chooses to destroy God's family with the war he is raging on the men in this world. My prayer is that through the grace and power of Christ that we can find Him, Repent daily, love others, serve them, and help people to find, fuel, and amplify the light they have within to make a difference in this world.
For more information about how I escaped, in Pinpoints of Light; Escaping the Abyss of Abuse. Please read or send my book to those who need it.
And the companion book of how I healed Out of Darkness; Find, Fuel, and Live in your Light