How Do You Turn Your Fears into Faith?
Letting God Turn our Fears into Faith
Guest Blog by Anna Karson
Forward by April Tribe Giauque:
Do you know how to escape abuse? What is your exit strategy? What is your plan? Many women in abuse need to create a plan, build a network, get financially ready, and then trust themselves to know when it is time to go.
My guest, Anna Karson, has a story that is powerful and will leave you wanting to read more. You are all invited to the Free podcast tomorrow night at 6:30 pm mountain to hear her escape from her abyss of abuse.
Young and Married
My life turned tragic when I was eighteen. I got married right out of high school—young and dumb. For the first month of the marriage, things seemed fine, and then one night, they drastically changed for the worst. My husband became violently abusive.
It was the only time I fought back because he made a point to show me what would happen if I tried to fight back in the future.
The abuse continued for over two years, and I felt I had no way out, as he had promised to kill my family and me if I tried to leave. I know people often don’t understand why someone just doesn’t walk out the door. We don’t have a choice. My time for freedom finally loomed ahead when he was going to be deployed to Iraq for Desert Storm.
I decided that was the only time I’d be able to leave, but I didn’t let on that I was watching my getaway. He beat me severely just a few weeks before he was to leave. Luckily, he went to work and bragged about it.
Once his C.O. heard about it, he immediately had him taken into custody. It gave me a minute to catch my breath. The downside was that the military would order him to stay home and work on our marriage. What was I going to do? I would die as he would blame me for this. I talked to his C.O. again and pleaded with him to have them drop all charges and let him go. I would die as he would blame me for this.
By the time he left and I was headed back to my home state, I was extremely ill because of the many beatings that I had endured.
Freedom—God Never Promised Us an Easy Road
By the time he left and I was headed back to my home state, I was extremely ill because of the many beatings that I had endured. From the beatings, I began to suffer more and more. I have eventually released from him was worth everything. However, I went into acute kidney failure and nearly died on my 21 st birthday. God blessed me with a kidney transplant, allowing my dad to be a great match as my donor.
Over the next twenty-five years, my road would be riddled with many significant obstacles. I eventually rejected that kidney and had to have a second transplant (thanks to one of my brothers then).
I have had primary cancer three times, one of which was very severe in my liver. Because of multiple health reasons, I could not have biological children, so we fostered and adopted four beautiful kids (one with severe mental and developmental delays).
As the years passed and God used all that fear I had packed up and brought with me when I got away from the monster, He was still there to guide me through each horrific health issue I faced. I was firm in my belief that God would get me through it. My faith was strong, and I never wavered when I was sick.
In 2020, after feeling like I had already faced the worst moments of my life, my oldest son and his girlfriend were tragically killed in a car crash, along with the gentleman in the vehicle they hit. Even still, God provided me peace and comfort in my darkest hours and assured me something good was meant to come from it. Again, I did not question God.
As the kids got older, my mentally challenged daughter became more violent. A few weeks after my son’s death, she had a horrible episode and physically hurt me. It seemed that my faith started to weaken as I questioned God about why I deserved to go through this and not understand the lesson from it, even though I had never asked Him before through all my other tragedies.
Triggering Fear and Triggering Faith
Triggering Fear is the first book I wrote about my journey to greater faith in God’s mercies. Although it centers around the details of my domestic abuse from the perspective of my thoughts in the hospital room as I faced death, it really can relate to anyone’s journey of tragedy and how there is proof we can be strong enough to come out on the other side if we just look to God for help.
After climbing this mountain, I had no idea there was more to come and that domestic abuse was my reminder of how strong I was as many more battles lay ahead of me. Triggering Faith goes through the most significant struggles I have faced and talks about how my faith in God was unwavering through so much. I firmly believe that no matter what I am going through, someone always has it worse than me, so I am blessed.
Readers of Triggering Fear may not have faced domestic abuse or the significant illnesses I discuss, or they may not have stared the loss of a child right in the face. They may not truly understand the many facets of dealing with the mental illness of a loved one.
Even if we have faced different chapters of life, this book is meant to strengthen the faith of wavering believers or even touch the hearts of non-believers that want to learn more about God’s grace and mercy. Both books are available on Amazon. Please follow me on Facebook at Anna Karson or on Instagram.
Catch us Tuesday, June 21, 2022, at 6:30 pm. You won't want to miss the interview.