This is an experience that I had in 2008 that helped to lead us to Scott.
A Prayerful Ripple: Prayers come in answers that we don’t always expect
There are weeks and days that seems to last forever when you are alone. Time becomes the curse and not a blessing. The drudgery of the day aches onward and the evening never seems to end. Night and then sleep is what is wished for in order to end the long lonely, day. Sometimes when even sleep is accomplished, the dreams are just reminders of how one must continue to survive as a single person rather than a couple. The headline of my dream reads, “Fierce warrior shielding demons from five innocents.”
My cries and my children’s cries bang up against an empty wall. No one can hear it, so no one comes. We remain alone to continue the fight against the world that is battling to tear the family from my hands. One person, my former husband, has already fallen victim to the pulls and devices of the world. He left, turned, and desired the world more than his family. He became swallowed up into the world leaving a torn open wound and a shattered marriage. I remained alone to fight with a single sword of truth and a shield of faith for my family. Many battles were won, but some battles attacked with such fierceness that even despite all her efforts, she lost. One such battle came the day of February 13, 2008. This is not a battle with swords or weapons, but a battle of time, no back up, and retreat.
I had been asked to present at the Utah Autism Conference in January, and so I prepared every needful thing to attend the conference. Weeks before I had been asked to demonstrate my teaching skills and classroom management abilities as a break out session for the conference. My PowerPoint was in check, babysitting arranged, and drop off and pick up time of the children secured, I went to the conference.
A conference is a conference. You learn, you network, you go to break out classes, and while attending the classes you check the time…just a few more hours until I home hugging my babies. Just a few more times the hour hand has to go around and around. I’ll be back to them. Suddenly I am jolted from the clock. Suddenly life has shifted. A message is spoken and the impact is immediate: “April, call your sister immediately”. My sister is watching my children! A phone call is made, and the information is clarified it comes across in chunks: emergency…son…. sever break of the humorous bone… surgery…need medical history…give verbal permission…must begin the surgery…get here as fast as you can…
In a daze I leave the conference, my head swimming in thoughts: I not there, my 9 year old son alone--in pain…must drive as fast as I can! Yet as my head is swimming in thoughts, the weather is whirling with a sever winter storm. I reach my van through the driving wind and pelting snow, and sit in the driver’s seat in the empty shell of the van. I bow my head, draw up strength from the Spirit, and cry out to have comfort cradle my son, and for me to arrive safely from Ogden to Salt Lake.
The drive is hampered by the weather, and my thoughts are hampered by the event. Drive, drive, drive…just get to the hospital. “Oh Father!”, I cried, “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do it alone. I know I have friends who help. I know I have my parents who help. BUT, I need a partner. I need a team player. I can’t raise my five children alone! I need HELP!”
I remember the way that last sentence left my mouth. It was as clear as polished glass. It was as if that sentence became a pebble that had been dropped into a pond sending ripples reaching outward to every part of the shore line until the energy of that pebble had exhausted itself against every mile of that shore line. The ripple that left my mouth seemed to search out into the air like a ripple goes across water. I remember in my mind’s eye how it looked to send out such a prayer. It was a distress cry that echoed across the city, the state, the earth, and reached towards heaven. As soon as that faithful statement was sent out, I remember thinking, “what did I just ask?” And soon as: I asked that the immediate flood of doubtful thoughts began to wash over me like a tidal wave: “You can’t find anyone. Who would take on your mess? Nobody wants used goods. There is no time to date. How would you meet anyone?”
The imitate flood of doubt that bombarded me began to dissipate. It just simply was replaced with peace. I was peaceful in my mind and in my heart. That witness to my heart and mind was what I needed to carry me through my son’s surgery.
After arriving at the hospital, I was immediately able to see Kellis in post- op/recovery. He was in severe pain, but I was there to hold him and comfort him. All he could say was that he would never ride a bike again—never, never, never! I just smiled and held him close. Despite the trauma, the long drive, the surgery, Kellis still made it possible for me to smile.
That night at the hospital I suddenly received phone call after phone call of support and of prayers. My mom was able to stay with my four other children while my dad continued to drive—keep that truck moving in order to make the money. The night at the hospital was peaceful. Kellis slept, I held him, and my other children were being well cared for. The last thing that I remembered before closing my eyes to sleep was my prayerful ripple that I sent out earlier in the day. It filled me joy, and I knew that someone was being prepared for me--for us. I slept that night in the comforting peace of the spirit knowing one day, on the Lord’s time, I would be wrapped in the comforting peace of someone I loved, and who loved and adored me.