Grow Your Life forward with Action.
By Guest Blogger: Robert Pardi
Somewhere along the line, we got fooled into thinking we must get over or move on from difficult situations. I have had a few such situations, from growing up with an abusive alcoholic father to holding my amazing wife in my arms as she took her final breath, and recently, to a venture failing during the pandemic.
Why would I want to get over or move on from those things in the world? They happened; they shook the foundation of my life, the rubble exists, and I learned from a very early age that what we do with the rubble is the most empowering. Therefore, it is not moving on but moving forward. It is growing forward.
If we try and move on or get over it, we are ignoring not only a valuable learning opportunity; we are ignoring a part of ourselves. We are forever changed, and if we try to refute what has created us, we inadvertently negate ourselves. That will weaken our core when we should empower ourselves by choosing to rebuild. We are meant to grow our life forward; it’s just that simple. If you are looking for a purpose or some meaning in life - give it meaning by making growth your purpose.
Do you want to know the secret weapon? It has been preached from the times of Plato and Socrates. No growth has ever come from preparation and studying alone. True change comes from experimenting, going out, and waiting for it to take action! Building from the rubble requires action.
Paraphrasing Carl Jung, we are not what has happened to us; we are what we choose to become. It is a choice and one we need to make consciously.
I am a Bronx NY born boy who now lives in Italy. I was a very successful investment banker who had the opportunity to live in Abu Dhabi and Dubai. When I took that job, my wife Desiree, right before her 31st birthday, was diagnosed with late-stage breast cancer. Rubble!
What to do with Rubble?
She and I decided to take that rubble and build a beautiful mosaic. We decided to let go of the unnecessary and live an essential life, a life in harmony with our vision for the remainder of her life. In doing so, we learned what the present moment truly meant and that it is only when one values the ordinary moments that one lives an extraordinary life.
I learned the skills of building something from the rubble by being blessed to have had the childhood I did. Did I say blessed? Yes, I did because if it were not for those lessons, I would not have had the building blocks of a personal philosophy that I call Possibility in Action™. A philosophy that helps me focus on possibilities regardless of the situation I find myself in and reminds me we are here on this planet to take action.
After my wife passed away, I looked around at the rubble. I knew the scars of the debris falling upon me would be with me forever. I would never get over or move on but could rebuild, reimage, and redefine the next chapter in my life.
Through my journey with Desiree, I realized that I was more of her Life Coach than her caregiver. That was the beautiful scar left by loving and losing her. It was the diamond buried in the rubble, which I would have never found if I didn’t sift through the rubble and let it empower me.
I left who I was and looked forward with enthusiasm and curiosity to who I could become. That is what all of my work since her passing has been about. About transformation. About using life instead of being used by life.
POWER of Possibility in Action
Harnessing the power of Possibility in Action™, I left everything, despite an enormous amount of debt accumulated during her 11-year journey with metastatic breast cancer and my having had to leave work to help her manage her life. I allowed myself to daydream after her passing, something we forget when we become adults, and I reimagined my life.
Imagination is a powerful tool we are all given, but we let go of it to be a “proper adult.” Well, imagination helps you see all the possibilities in life, which is why I wrote a book titled A Pimby Tale, a whimsical story for adults. If you allowed yourself to daydream, what would you dream of? What is stopping you from pursuing that dream?
After deciding to set a course for Italy without a job, home, connections, or speaking the language, I realized that the only thing stopping me was the fear of failure. But have we not failed by not attempting to live our dream? Is the reward not in the attempt itself?
It's totally possible to learn how to change your life and live the life of your dreams. It might not feel like it could be that way, but it's true. I reimagined my life to live what many define as impossible dreams. How? Simply, I had to ask myself if I wanted the rubble to define who I was or instead define who I could become.
It’s Not Easy
But just because it's possible to change your life doesn't mean it's easy. It requires making conscious decisions and living intentionally. That is a direct outcome of Possibility in Action™ and how Desiree and I lived a joyful life regardless of journeying toward the end of her life. Chasing Life is the memoir I wrote for Desiree about the joy we found together.
It may sound obvious that all you have to do is take action, but this is perhaps the most challenging part of changing your life. The spark to take action requires you to let down your armor, feel life and let the discomfort in. Don’t try to move on or get over but feel it. Taste the sourness of the discomfort and ask yourself if that is what you want to taste for the rest of your life.
Action is Not Comfort—It’s Life!
The truth is changing your life may be the most challenging and uncomfortable thing you ever do, but it is possible. It just means making some tough decisions. At first, this can be very scary, but change will only occur when the pain of staying where you are is greater than the fear of changing. I wrote Possibility in Action, A Journey to an Intentional Life, to help guide someone through change by contemplating cornerstone concepts and mental musings.
What are you going to make out of your rubble?
CHECK OUT OUR CONVERSATION September 13, 2022 at 6:30 pm