Updated: Oct 26
My guest speaker for the UNITE in LIGHT DV Conference, Illa Lynn shares important life-saving information about building an exit plan.
What is an Exit Plan?
An exit plan is a practical plan that includes ways to remain safe while in a relationship, planning to leave, or after you leave.
Exit planning involves many steps, i.e., how to cope with your feelings, build your support network with friends and family, share with others about the abuse, take legal action, etc.
A good exit plan will have: information, tailor it to your unique situation and help you get out. It is your plan with advocate help.
A Good Plan will:
1) Network with people.
2) Those people will help you to cope with your feelings.
3) A big part of your plans is thinking of a safe place to go to.
4) Do what you can to have a stash of cash.
5) Resources and supports like DV shelters and programs.
Please PRACTICE your PLAN
You have been thinking about your plan for a while; practice it! Please remember that our brains don't always respond the way we want under stress, so rehearse the plan and make sure you are calm. Having an exit plan laid out and practiced will help to protect yourself in the heat of the moment.
Who is Illa Lynn?
Illa Lynn is a Transformation Life Coach and Mental Health Advocate for women. As a survivor of narcissistic abuse herself, she is on a mission to help women globally reclaim their freedoms and become empowered empaths.
As a Relationship Coach, she serves women in restoring their authenticity and opening their hearts to Love. Her book "Unlock Authentic You" encompasses ten aspects of her own healing journey toward finding who she is. As she says, it is a guide for any woman starting over in Life and wishing to have tangible steps to follow toward self-love and self-acceptance.
What does she teach?
Illa teaches women that they will have more clarity and a mindset shift about recovery and healing. Part of leaving is also leaving the old self behind. It is about healing and recovery.
1. Understand that none of what happened is their fault. Forgiving themselves above else. Coming to terms that the person they thought they knew was just an act.
2. Abuse can happen to anyone regardless of social status. Women and men all over the globe have been in a DV situation with an intimate partner or have witnessed it at some point in their life.
3. There is a way out and a way to heal a)you got to get out of that environment because we can now heal in a place that is making us sick. b)get clarity on the laws in your state on
HOW TO OPEN YOUR HEART AGAIN- Healing the aftermath of DV and finding love after abuse.
Illa's book Uncover the Authentic You is a powerful read. It is a step-by-step guide to self-acceptance and self-discovery for women.
For some of us, recovering from Domestic Violence is not only making an exit plan but also making a mind shift away from victimhood to victory.
Here are three steps to helping you do that.
1. Accepting the reality of DV is a catalyst for everything else that will follow. Realize that the ongoing abuse alters the brain's capacity to think rationally, and that's why so many do not take action.
2. Cognitive Dissonance is a side effect of gaslighting and stonewalling- And it can be overcome by specific steps like tracking the conversation by recording or writing it down.
3. Educate oneself on becoming an empowered empath and learn the yellow and gray rock method. Set a plan in motion to get out safely. Get clarity that there is life after DV and that will right support system freedom is obtainable.
There are three simple steps you can take to find real love:
recognize and break the trauma bond,
line up your support system,
implement your exit plan.
By following these steps, you'll be on your way to breaking your toxic relationships and finding the Real Love you've been searching for!
JOIN US OCTOBER 25 at 6:30 pm for the full Conversation!