How to Recognize the Red Flags in Relationships
Updated: Oct 7, 2022
Guest Blog: Keely Crook
Have you ever felt like you were being boiled alive?
I have. My name is Keely, and I was being boiled alive in my relationship until I jumped out of the water and saved myself.
How did I know it was getting hotter and hotter and that I would become a news story unless I got out? I started to look at the red flags that had been happening in my relationship, call them out and identify them.
So let me ask you, do you know what to do when these red flags seem to be flying in every corner of your life? It came to the point when I had to ask myself; I think it is time to leave. Well, Here is my checklist for what I did.
Now to be clear, This answer will be different for everyone.
Since I am not a doctor or therapist, this information is being provided strictly from a survivor's viewpoint.
I will share my full checklist on October 6th, 2022, at 6:30 pm with April and the UNITE in LIGHT DV Conference. (GRAB a TICKET to get my FREE PDF all about this)
For me, it was when I realized my partner never took any responsibility for his behavior.
He never apologized or had any remorse for his actions or how they negatively impacted
Periods of peace and his extreme fits of rage became less spread over time and increased in frequency and intensity.
I was being put down and criticized more often.
I felt I was being treated like an enemy, not a partner.
I was walking on eggshells and felt high anxiety when he got home from work.
I noticed that I was happier and relaxed and felt freer to be myself while visiting with friends or family when I was away from home.
The book “The Verbally Abusive Relationship” helped me find answers to what I was
experiencing. The checklist in the book made me realize that I was in a highly toxic
relationship and that my partner was verbally abusing me.
I was able to put a name to my experience, “verbal abuse,” which empowered me.
My partner and I tried couples therapy as a last resort, but we were at a stalemate. He
did not believe that he needed to change anything about his behavior and blamed me
Because my partner refused to see his anger or behavior as a problem, I had no other
choices. Either I would continue enduring the same treatment with no resolution or
would need to leave the situation.
Ultimately, no matter how much I would have changed myself or how “perfect” I was, I
had come to the jarring reality that it would never be enough. I would have lost myself, my dreams, and my dignity if I had stayed.
So I left.
And never looked back.
Keely was born and raised in Wisconsin. She is a leader in her community and has a strong desire to help others find their way out of abusive relationships.
Keely lost her own sister to domestic violence, and she wants to inspire and empower people to escape the cycle of abuse.
We go LIVE Thursday, Oct 6th at 6:30 pm MDT.
CHECK OUT THE UNITE in LIGHT DV Conference here: