Because I left DV Blessing # 5,835: Comfort Cage

Because I Left Domestic Violence Blessing number 5,835: Comfort Cage


Do you have pain, fear, shame in your life? Did you know that you used those things to build yourself a cage? Wait, what? No—those things happened to me. I’m a victim of all of that….or wait…..Victim? Yuck! I need to keep reading; I don't want that.



Comfort Cage

Comfort. It’s a place that is plush, full of warmth, soft textures, soft light, maybe something soothing to eat--sweet or savory—Comfort. What do you think of when you think of that word?

We all seek it, want it, try to hold onto it, and in desperation, we fight to have it in our lives. We will even numb ourselves to find a sense of false comfort. Even when we are numb, we are fighting hard to make sure that we put at bay the feelings that put us in vulnerable places.

Where is the Comfort Cage found? Where does it reside? It is found inside us. It looks like it has pillows, cushions, soft lighting, and a place to stay and be safe. We run towards the false sense of comfort we think we will find there.

However, once we are inside, we notice that soft light is filtered, and suddenly we see bars all around us trapping us inside! What are the bars made out of? You guessed it, our lies, fear, and pain.

As we sit there thinking about how scary everything is outside of our cage, we don’t even notice the Shame Shadow who sits next to us (by the way, he slipped in through the bars). Great. Now you are trapped with your lies, fear, pain, and good old Shamey is there to make sure you feel terrible. Who is enjoying this? Is this comfortable?


Top Three Ways to Escape Your Comfort Cage


How do we get out? What do we do?

Welcome to the Top 3 ways to escape your Comfort Cage today!

  1. Open the door

  2. Step outside

  3. Keep walking

Wait, what? That’s it? Yes, that’s it. You choose to do it. Don’t worry, the comfort cage will be there when you chicken out and run back to it, but the pain and the fear can double the more you stay there because you now know what it is like to be free, learn and grow. But ouchie, it kind of hurts.

Well, keep going. There is so much for you to learn. Remember that you are trapped in a cage, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally when you are in a cage. We don’t have time to stay there for long. Your life depends on you to take down the bars and stay out.

Now, you can’t do this all on your own. Once you step out, there are people there to help you, but you have to decide to go. It’s your choice, your agency, to stand, open the door, and step out of your comfort cage today. Next week I will lead you to the next step in this journey–the Learning Zone!


Want to Know More?

If you want to know more about this topic and others like it, check my book Out of Darkness; Find, Fuel, and Live in Your Light. and just for under $10.00, you can learn how to step onto your healing journey and walk out of the Comfort Cages in your life!


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