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Break the Generational Chains of Abuse and Forgive

Guest Blog: Crystal Huntley

Nothing can set a person free quite like forgiveness does. Too often, someone professes, “I will never forgive you!” They spit out that statement with venom as if placing a curse on their offender. As they proclaim this damaging phrase, they remain completely unaware that those five words, when said together, will forge a trap around whoever voices them with conviction.

From the viewpoint of many, I have every reason to be one who has hardened their heart, clutching tight to resentment while refusing to forgive. I say this because I survived beyond the first four decades of my life trapped in an infernal of abuse. However, instead of heading in that direction toward bitterness, my heart filled with a burning desire not to remain buried among the ashes of animosity. 

I will always be grateful for how God carried me through that raging fire and placed me on the other side. While doing so, my Savior instilled within me the gift and passion for writing. As a result of what I survived, I feel commissioned to use my gift and reach out to others trapped in abuse. I must take what I have learned to shine a light on the path toward healing so others can follow it.

I survived a childhood riddled with atrocious abuse of basically every type. Then, knowing no other reality, just days after my twentieth birthday, I united with a man whose personality mirrored that of my abusive father. Together, we had four precious children. With the birth of each child, my eyes opened up to a layer of truth, setting me on the path toward healing.

My parents had taught me well what not to do. However, I had to work diligently to discover what to do. Wanting a much better life for my children, I committed my heart and soul to not passing abusive traits onto them. Yet, sadly, a harsh lesson awaited me. No matter how much effort I poured into providing my daughter and sons a healthy environment to grow up in, I had no power over their father's actions. 

Journaling became a dominant part of my healing journey. Those hours I poured into scratched-down entries developed into a written memoir of my story. I had high hopes of publishing this memoir, combined with a desire to learn how to become fluent in writing skills.

To fulfill my wishes, I attended multiple American Christian Fiction Writers’ and Called to Write Conferences along with local writers’ groups and honed the craft. My longing to publish that first manuscript never came to fruition. Instead, my writing took a different turn as I transformed elements from that factual account into works of fiction. 

My journey toward healing included decades of heavy therapy. I greatly appreciate the multiple counselors who guided me from a place of brokenness to the passionate, dedicated person I am today. The path I trotted gave me the skills to break chains of abuse fashioned by multiple generations. As a result, I now hold a burning desire to share those skills with others who, like I once was, remain trapped in forged links of abuse.

My second book, Robin’s Gift, came out in 2024. This story provides my readers with a fictional version of a personal experience that resides close to my heart. A crucial aspect of healing is the ability to forgive oneself. A reason we are instructed to forgive our perpetrators, as in The Hidden Diamond, my first book published, is declared in Scripture. “Forgive us, as we forgive others” (Matthew 6:12 God’s Word Version). “As we forgive others.” We cannot find forgiveness for ourselves if we do not first forgive those who have harmed us. Robin’s Gift focuses on self-forgiveness in a way that brings the parable of the Prodigal Son to life in modern form.

A battle of emotions clashed within Natalie’s head. “If I send out these cards . . . What if they don’t want to hear from me?”

Lucy’s smile lines plumped her pink cheeks. “Why wouldn’t they? You said they were your friends.”

“They were, but I abandoned them. The same as my family had abandoned me.”

“I am not convinced fleeing to find a better life would qualify as abandonment to your friends. Sometimes, life takes people down different pathways. That does not mean you care any less for them. If they are truly your friends, they would celebrate your return.”

“Could they ever fully forgive me?”

“I do not know much of your story—however, it sounds as if having their forgiveness is not the real issue. I perceive you are the one who needs to forgive yourself.”

Tears pooled in Natalie’s eyes, spilling toward her chin. Lucy grabbed a tissue and dabbed away the moisture with great tenderness.

“So much has happened since I last spoke to them. I am not even certain where they now live.”

The side-to-side motion of Lucy’s head revealed that she did not buy it. “Oh, you are a smart one. I know you can overcome that obstacle with a stint of research. Do not let insignificant things stop you from moving forward.” (Exert from Robin’s Gift).

Also by Crystal MM Huntley—The Hidden Diamond, published in 2022. To write this book, I drew from childhood experiences that included the devastating throes of molestation. I fully believe the ability to forgive is a crucial element to healing. Within this book, I use the beauty of fiction to have my molester face the reality of his offense and seek forgiveness—an act of bravery that most who commit such crimes never find the courage to do. 

To further carry on my work in helping others heal from this raging pandemic of abuse, I write a weekly blog found on my website I invite you to join me with the hope that you find value in each post. I also keep an active Facebook group at In this group, I provide uplifting posts for my readers and links to my blog entries. And I also have a Facebook page at

God has rewarded my efforts well with many blessings. I now share life with an honorable man I dearly love, and because of him, I know what it means to be loved back. We reside within the pristine forests of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. When I am not writing, I enjoy cooking healthy meals for us, playing with and training our precious westie, making quilts, and engaging in lengthy phone conversations with my daughter, three sons, and eleven grandchildren.

I also cherish being active in our Episcopal church. During our long snow-filled winters, I relish clicking pictures of the wildlife that venture closer to residential homes in search of food. During our short non-snow season, I treasure working in our garden, walking down forested paths, seeking out waterfalls, and standing in awe at the shores of Lake Superior. Here are links to where my books can be found.

Robin’s Gift

The Hidden Diamond

Join Crystal on the Beacon of Light Podcast on April 2, 2024, at 6:30 pm Moutain Time on YouTube and Facebook!

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