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Why Be Broken, When You Can Become Gold?

Cathy Studer

How can we recover after being hurt or suffering abuse? What choices can help us transition from feeling like a victim to reclaiming our purpose and empowering our potential?

Five years ago, I couldn’t imagine answering those questions, yet a conversation with a client took me on a path for a purpose and a mission that I never saw coming. That conversation drove me to reflect on why some people lead pretty successful lives after trauma and others suffer more. One person, no better than another. What did I do on my healing pilgrimage of pulling my broken pieces back together after my childhood trauma?

Those questions created deep reflection added with research, which then led me to write my book, Broken to Beautifully Whole, where I share the steps I followed as I moved through my pain of carrying shame, humiliation, low self-worth, and very low self-esteem after suffering six years of childhood sexual abuse.

I am now passionate about sharing how it is genuinely possible to recover from intense hurt and abuse and create a life filled with value, purpose, and joy.

Through my journey, everyone can learn:

Why we must move through our trauma before it is possible to restore wholeness, experience lasting joy, and develop our true potentials?

After abuse or trauma, we can think the best way to deal with our brokenness is to keep it buried deep down inside of us. Somehow, we believe it is safe there and forgotten about. It is not. We carry that weight with us. When we keep the trauma buried, it can hang onto anger and resentment, affect our coping choices, hurt our relationships, and prevent happiness. It is not until we move through and out of our pain that we can establish becoming our best selves and find fulfillment.

Six attributes anyone can use to initiate healing while reducing the occurrence of depression, anxiety, or PTSD.

I chose to step into healing and becoming whole again. It was a choice, and it took time. I applied the compelling six attributes in my healing pilgrimage: perspective, resilience, gratitude, self-compassion, faith, and forgiveness.

In Broken to Beautifully Whole, I explain the science behind some of the attributes I applied and how they worked the neurotransmitters in my brain in a very positive manner. The positive influence on my brain reduced my chances for depression, anxiety, and PTSD. When the brain’s neurotransmitters are triggered favorably, finding joy and value in our life is much easier to obtain.

Practical actions to identify and eliminate sexual abuse tragedies.

I believe every person can start reducing and eliminating the staggering sexual abuse statistics… creating today! This begins with the uncomfortable conversations. Sharing our own stories or discussing sexual abuse with our children is uncomfortable. However, if we embrace and engage in these conversations, we can start to have appropriate responses and actions.

If someone shares their story with us, be that safe place, BELIEVE, and respect the vulnerability of what they just shared. Sometimes as parents, grandparents, aunts, or uncles, we unintentionally make our children vulnerable to these abuses. It is not our intent; however, it can be the byproduct of our actions and words. This absolutely has to change to start reducing our children’s vulnerabilities and start eliminating statistics.

Nelson Mandela once said, “There is no keener revelation of a society’s soul than how it treats its children.”

Are we responding quickly enough to protect our children in this country? Can we do a better job? I believe we can do a much better job, and I think we have to! It impacts all of us!

We matter—our stories matter. We CAN go from feeling damaged to feeling worthy. It is possible to heal from our traumas. It is possible to become whole again after brokenness. As we pull each piece together, we can become Kintsugi.

Kintsugi is a Japanese art form where they take broken pottery and put it back together with lacquered silver, platinum, or gold.

It comes with the belief that once something has been broken, it can become stronger and more beautiful once repaired. The cracks are meant to be highlighted, not hidden. It is a means to become whole again and embrace our imperfections. This means we can shine like gold where we were once broken!

My healing was a pilgrimage and was not fast, nor was it a straight trajectory. It was messy and came with setbacks. However, I chose to keep moving forward. I did not want only to survive; I wanted to thrive! An unexpected conversation propelled me to transcend from thriver to warrior for a purpose to help others heal along with creating a mission to defeat the childhood sexual abuse statistics. It was time!

It’s time to break the silence.
It’s time for uncomfortable conversations.
It’s time to start defeating the statistics.
It’s time for all who are broken to know that they can become beautifully whole.

Facebook @brokentobeautifullywhole or @becomingkintsugi

Instagram @cathystuder4

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