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How Can You Heal After Abuse?

How can you heal after abuse? By stepping into your healing journey by leaving your Comfort Cage, Stop Listening to your Shame Shadow©, and Walking on your Recovery Road.

What does your Shame Shadow© say to you? This is what it used to say to me, and I overcame it!


Came the sound of the sharp knife against the plump red skin of the tomato. “Thinner!” harshly whispered shame. I stopped my knife mid slide and looked at the tomatoes. They were nearly transparent.

“Are you really going to eat that much?”

Scoffed Shame again. I felt pricked. Right to my heart, and I felt more of my light dim. I put one back and think, “there; I’ll just eat three.” I looked up for approval; all was silent.

Shame. Shame says, “you are not enough, or you are too much.” It follows you around like a Shadow, The Shame Shadow©. It’s behind or beside you, like a black hole sucking all your energy and robbing your light from shining.

The pain, fear, abuse, and shame are bars of a cage— a Comfort Cage you built. You sit content in the darkness. Even though it is unhealthy, you are used to it.

Suddenly, something catches your eye. You see the light. The shadow whispers look away, but you are drawn to it. You stand and reach for the door and slide it open.

Do you want to come out of the darkness to find healing —healing from great pain and shame? It won’t be easy leaving your Comfort Cage. Healing journies are painful. But don’t give up! You are not alone. I’ll shine my light for you, and you will come Out of Darkness.

To give you another example:

On October 29, 1941, at Harrow School in England, Winston Churchill delivered his famous “Never give up speech.” Here is the quote from the speech,

“Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”

He went on to say, “Do not let us speak of darker days: let us speak rather of sterner days. These are not dark days; these are great days—the greatest days our country has ever lived; and we must all thank God that we have been allowed, each of us according to our stations, to play a part in making these days memorable in the history of our race.”

During that time, the Blitz was raging, and nightly, the people of London were being bombed by German forces. There was nothing to stop them but for a small Royal airforce and the will of the people. It seemed insurmountable and hopeless.

How could Winston Churchill claim that they were the “greatest days our country has ever lived?”

Because through adversity, they became stronger. Through the trials, the hardships, and even the deaths, then learned what it took to defeat the enemy. They discovered the internal will to find hope and light within each individual and then collectively come together and scorched a pathway through the enemy’s darkness.

Light and darkness. The opposing forces are not new. They are as old as life itself. The forces of light and darkness both live within you. This is a very personal battle that can rage inside our hearts, minds, and souls. We are faced with a lifetime of battling the enemy of negativity, hate, degrading words, passive-aggressiveness, and worse in our heads.

What is a Comfort Cage, Learning Zone, and a Shame Shadow?

I feel called to share my experiences of how I battled my enemy. I feel called to help you Out of Darkness. Through this book, I will empower you to find your light. It is a journey to discover your light out of Comfort Cages through Learning Zones and allow you to be at your most vulnerable self. But it is the only way to discover the true power of your light, how to fuel it and amplify it so that you can live in your light!

To do that fully, you must understand the darkness of your enemy, the Shame Shadow©. I teach you how to identify him, call him out, and empower you with skills to know how to stay in your light and out of the darkness. Like the blitz, we have to find a way not just to survive this battle but also to defend ourselves and win!

Please NEVER give in to it. Be as strong as England of old. Draw on the strength of your light as the enemy beats upon your mind and stand firm. These are GREAT days! The GREATEST that you and the world have ever seen. Remember that everything has its opposite. As dark and evil happen in life, hope and LIGHT are stronger and will overcome--if we Never, Never, Never, Never give in!

Thank you to our Sponsors:

Thank you to our Author Sponsors!

April Tribe Giauque: Out of Darkness

Lori A Thompson: Pivot Point

Hope Flansburg: Piece by Piece

Dr. Mary Welsh:

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