Red Flag # 5 Gossip
It seems like GOSSIP is a fast-spreading virus that we can all get caught up in. And when it comes to Gossip being a Red Flag of Domestic Violence, many of us are shocked, stop in our tracks, and say, “Did I hear you right?”
Yes. GOSSIP. This is as dangerous as it comes. Why? Well, we all have participated in it. And it is very addicting and habit-forming. Here is when it becomes a DANGEROUS RED FLAG WARNING:
Tip #1: Habit-Forming
Who doesn’t like to hear the dirt on someone else? I mean, really? Our curiosity and our natural man can get the better of us, and we are tempted to listen. . . and yet . . . we are NOT ready to discover the truth or figure out the other side of the story. When we only listen to one side, share, and spread, we are making a gossip habit.
What is talked about (the topic) is very important to know if this is a Red Flag for you. Are you speaking ill of someone out of revenge, or acting like the victim of someone’s bullying, or being passive-aggressive in why you are sharing it with others? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, take it as a warning! Now, on to number two...
Tip #2: They Like to Share Gossip as a Means of Control
This Tip is critical to identify as an essential measurement of why you are sharing the story? Is it to tell someone of the danger that they are in? Or, is it to slander someone’s name, put doubt in someone’s mind, or help spread a story with enough truth that it will pass as acceptable?
Let’s look at people who abuse others. This form of gossip is something they are professional at. Here is the clue that it is a RED FLAG if they always put themselves in as the victim of someone else or make them the innocent as they slander the other person.
Tip #3: They Gossip About Others in a Passive-Aggressive Form.
This means they are slipping in parts of themselves and then weaving the lies and the truth and more lies altogether that causes the listener to feel bad for them, and now upset and angry about the other person. They will gossip about you. You are in the relationship, and that is his favorite target.
PLEASE, PLEASE listen to that if that is happening, and if no one is stopping him from talking. That is a sign that he has more control over groups of people than you might have thought.
“They Now Gossip About You and Share your Weakness in Front of Your Friends and Family”
“They belittle and degrade people who are close to you to start to put doubt in your mind to isolate you.”
How many of you are suddenly seeing more and more people waving Red Flags? Please take that as the final warning and get out before it is too late. Trust your gut and do what you can to get out safely.
By the way, if you want more Red flag warnings about future abuse, this FREE Virtual Domestic Violence Conference "UNTIE in LIGHT" lays it all out for you. Check it out here Registration: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dv-awareness-and-action-event-unite-in-light-tickets-122544807819