How many of you count your many blessings when you were in domestic violence or out of domestic violence? Hands up! Who does? Well, I have to admit that it is not something that has come naturally to me, but I decided to change that. I started practicing gratitude by counting blessings and WOW what a difference.
I’ve grown up my whole life singing a hymn called, Count Your Blessings. Right in the first line, it says,
“When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed When you are discouraged thinking all is lost,”
What does it tell us to do in the very next line? It tells us to,
“Count your blessings, name them one by one. And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.”
***Wait a minute! In the middle of the yuck, the pain, the hurt, the sorrow, I’m supposed to count my blessings? How? There is no way! I’m like, in pain and stuff! What terrible advice!
When I was in my darkest abyss of abuse, thinking praying for a pinpoint of light to guide me, I was told to count my blessings. I was prompted to try. So I started where I could. I was still breathing, and so were my children. I even had clothing on my back (yes, it was dirty and torn, but I was clothed). And that was all I could muster at the time. But it was two things. From there, I started to see a pinpoint of hope because I began to think, “I’m alive for now, so what can I do?”
For many of us, we have all been in the trials of life (as different as they are), and we know that if we stop in the grief and sorrow, the pain and guilt, the despair and depression, we can find at least one blessing. How do you find blessing while still in abuse or just fresh out of abuse?
Vent it out! Write it out! Read what you wrote! Write again! it will purge your mind of the cyclic mess that swirls in your head. It's like any good vomit—difficult coming up, but wow, do you feel better.
Focus where you are. Stand where you are. I had to know that others were standing with me, so I stood.
To anyone who needs this, let me tell you, you are worth it. Your children are worth it. And I will say it is a choice to do this. It is also a choice to stay mentally stuck. You have us; you have the strength of Heaven that helped to get you out. TRUST IT.
Grab that pen and write. Write goals, write about all the pain, write about the sorrow, write about the strength you have, write about the smiles on your kids, write about the day you have today to start the change. Just write. It is one of the best and effective therapies you can do. Thinking and introspection, COMBINED with writing, are powerful and can give you direction. Thinking and introspection without it can trap you back in the cyclic thinking and you will be right where you are—stuck.
I love you. I believe in you. You are worth it! Count your blessings—this is one of them!