How can we see more men who want to protect and provide for their families? Right here!
Men of Might providers, protectors, and leaders of the family. Not hunters of the family
In our Men of Might series, the focus is to discover some key points about men and their role in the family, society, and that they are the key to changing the face of abuse. Through the weeks we will discuss how:
Men have significant roles in being the provider, protector, and leader in the family. (WEEK 1)
Leadership is the way to break the cycle of abuse because the clear fact is men abuse women, children, and other men. Leadership is a way to have that man to man conversation about abuse keeps the focus of abuse on the person inflicting the abuse and not on the victim. (WEEK 2) And finally,
The discussion we need as a society to help our boys to become men of Christ. That they know their royal birthright: Lovers of Christ, of their wives, providers, and protectors of the family. Not hunters of the family. (WEEK 3).
As we tackle these three key topics over the next few weeks, the desire is to have the readers gain awareness and a perspective of the power and importance of men in the health of the family. To break the cycle of abuse that has been generational is a challenge. One of the ways to do this is to help boys become men and help society to identify the role that men play within the family.
Clear fact, children are designed to be born and raised in families. Another clear fact is that the concept of the traditional family is not wrong, is not obsolete, but it is essential to help children have the best outcomes in their adult years. Men have a huge part and key element in this role, and they can not be diminished or dismissed.
According to an article published in Family Life,
“A father who protects his son by passing on wisdom, helping him build godly character, and teaching him to reject the lies and temptations of the world are needed more than ever before. This father is protecting not only his son but also the generations to follow as the wisdom he shares gets passed on and on.”
35 years of research stats that “Men should be raised to understand how to be the provider, protector, and leader.” Women, what do these words mean you? To me, this feel right and needs to be strengthened in society. Here is a better question, are we teaching children within our own families what these roles look like by our example, by our words, and by our actions?
As a mom of nine children raising five boys, I take this very seriously. I believe that the only way to stop all abuse is to focus on the family. I believe that is starts at a young age. We need to raise boys to become men.
Men of Might Point 1 - Provider
What does it mean to teach boys, teens, and men to become the provider? It means to teach them that they have a responsibility to think about others (their family) and that they have needs. These needs are physical, financial, emotional, and spiritual. To provide for physical and financial means is the whole point of school, college, and or job training, right? They need to have skills in order to create or get a job that earns that provides for the physical and financial needs of the family
Children can learn this from a young age by starting with jobs around the house or outside of the home like babysitting, yard work, or dog walking earning a set pay. With that pay, they can then pay a tithe, pay themselves (save), and then give or get something. Simple lessons, but powerful impacts on how to be a provider. What will our words say and our actions say about what they earned, what they did with it, and did they think about the needs of others?
We can emphasize that providing is then taken to the next level where you begin to provide for your needs and wants. As those increase, we teach them that providing means to earn enough for food, clothing, shelter, utilities, insurances, savings, and good wholesome family fun. It is a responsibility. It is important to save for the rainy day but don't pinch “your pennies to death.” Providing is a key support in helping men to feel like men.
Now that we have looked at physical, let’s dive into providing emotionally. Boys need to be raised where they can express themselves, their hurt, pain, anger, shame, joy, happiness, and love in a variety of ways. Basically, we love them for who they are and that love is consistent.
Raising boys to know that they are emotionally loved, valued, and when you mess up to be responsible for it but know I still love you. If they have taken actions that are wrong or mistakes, the actions need to have the consequences to learn lessons to not repeat, but the person does not have to be shamed. Shaming digs holes in self-worth and is destructive.
Now, will we as parents do this perfectly? No! Nor are we supposed to, but what we are supposed to do is keep trying and getting better to improve ourselves while helping our children to improve themselves.