Negative Talk can Physically Hurt You! Wanna Heal?

By John-Michael Lander

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Survivors' Long-Term Effects of Inflammation due to Negative Self-Talk


My name is John-Michael Lander. I am a warrior for those who have suffered and survived the sexual abuse of boys and men. There is so much to say about this, and I have shared my own abuse story in a fictional setting through the Surface Series: Surface Tension and Cracked Surface. I have spoken globally about the silence of sexually abused men as well.


When abuse or traumatic events happen, Negative Self-Talk, blame, shame, all of it seems to seep from your soul and spill into your physical body causing great pain to be a companion to the blame and the shame. This is what I want to address here.

Negative Self-Talk

Lately, I have been concerned about finding a solution for Survivors' Long-Term Effects of Inflammation due to Negative Self-Talk. I have been thinking and wanting to understand how the negative self-talk that I developed during and after my traumatic events can cause inflammation, attack the immune system, cause pain and discomfort, and possibly lead to disease(s).

I have discovered that easing or relieving the inflammation in my body allows me to have more energy and strength to examine the negative self-talk that I have consciously and unconsciously been saying to myself for most of my life.

The Research

Dr. Jim Hopper's research, "The Brain Under (Sexual) Attack," addresses how survivors' brains are affected by sexual assault,

"Stress and trauma can rapidly and massively alter brain functioning and altering the way memories are encoded and stored."

Since survivors are constantly performing and adjusting at an elevated level of psychological exertion, we seem to be more susceptible to negative influences than non-survivors. A survivor's brain may take longer to arrive at a simple directive than a non-survivor.

Hard Facts!

Every person is groomed (conditioned) from birth by the influences of parents, friends, churches, schools, doctors, social economics, ethnic background, and society—groomed for good or for ill. This initial influence of messaging of a touch of love or of negativity is the basis of our development. Over 60,000 thoughts speed through our minds a day, and 77% of these thoughts have a negative quality. For myself, I am discovered that after my traumatic events, I began a silent campaign to try and understand why the experience took place.


Through reflection, I have created scenarios and negative thoughts that helped me survive during and after these events. The more events, the easier it was to repetitiously riddle my brain with more self-doubt and unworthy mantras that became false truths in my mind. This type of thinking can become addictive and difficult to change. Dr. Shad Helstetter's theory supports that our brains are like computers and do not discriminate in what information we program into them.

Dr. Patricia Resick shared on Open Stance (a podcast hosted by former professional tennis player Tracey Hiete Smith) that traumatic events are like campfires in our minds, and we are constantly adding thought-logs to keep the fire ablaze. I recognize that these negative thought-logs (which I created myself) remain my truth for my lifetime, causing me to create a false self and riddle my body with inflammation. How do we stop thought-logs, so the campfire burns itself to ash?

Christopher Bergland, an ultra-endurance athlete, and long-distance runner, states,

"...it became clear what negative moods create physiological changes in my body, which cause me to run slower."

I Wondered....

After my abuse started, I struggled to find the motivation to go to practice, let alone compete. I felt that I was on display for everyone to judge and discriminate, so I berated myself with consistent negative self-talk. Could survivors be causing self-harm and re-self-victimization through the repetition of negative thoughts and self-talk? Research implies that we can change this downward spiral and develop healthier bodies and minds.

My Discovery

I have recently discovered that I have more energy and strength to create more positive self-talk by easing inflammation. When I am not feeling well, I am not interested in anything positive. This mood-set would compound the circular negativity and even create new thoughts.

Also, I have found a way to ease the effects of inflammation. Once I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease, a friend told me about Arbonne's natural plant-based program entitled 30 Days to Healthy Living. This program changed my life so much that I have decided to become a Consultant. Combining exercising, meditating, and listening to positive self-talk recordings, eating Healthier has assisted in moving my body into a more alkaline state and easing the inflammation.

I am happy to share more details, my new program, and the Arbonne products utilized on my journey with you. Just contact me here through Facebook Messenger: John-Michael Lander

I am offering the following for November:

  1. A Free one-on-one session with me

  2. Arbonne is waiving registration fees for New Consultants and Preferred Customers this month with a qualifying order. Ask me for more information.

  3. If you order Arbonne's 30 Day's to Healthy Living, I will include a FREE and signed copy of one of my books: Surface Tension or Cracked Surface (both are available on Amazon)




Come and Support HEALING from Negative-self Talk

Arbonne: http://johnlander.arbonne.com

An Athlete’s Silence: http://anathletessilence.com

Surface Tension: https://rb.gy/aldgbi

Cracked Surface: https://rb.gy/7etvs5


Who is John?

John-Michael Lander shares his personal story of growing up as an elite athlete who was sexually abused and the impact that has had on his adult life. John-Michael Lander has had a diverse background in theatre, television, films, and education since winning two gold medals in springboard and platform diving for the United States in Tønsberg, Norway. He taught at Stivers School for the Arts for seven years and has written three novels. The first, Surface Tension (2017), explores the year he prepared for the World Games. Spandau Ballet and Life’s a Beach were released this summer. His biggest accomplishment is sharing his life with Nathan Webber and their two Boston Terriers, Bella and Barkley. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx


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