Updated: Oct 4
Because I left Domestic Violence Number 5,414
The Truth About Perfection is a Red Flag leading to Domestic Violence/abuse.
Most people think that you must know every Red Flag warning about future abuse. But that’s not true. Abusers, I call hunters, are preying on you. Hunters hope you never see Perfection as a Red Flag leading to Domestic Violence/abuse. Perfection is the first of five Red Flags I will discuss over the next five Sundays to combat that from happening; here are five tips about Red Flag to warn you about future abuse.
Tip #1: Perfection
This tip is essential to learn because no one is perfect. No. One. If someone you are dating shows Perfection in how they look, dress, or respond to others, note that down. It is a Red Flag. It is not natural that Perfection happens in relationships or that nothing can go wrong. Mistakes happen, and if the person you are dating is not willing to show their mistakes or shortcomings to you—something is off!
Tip #2: Behaviors Demonstrate no flaws
This tip is critical to your success in identifying hunters because if someone shows you that they are perfect, it is a lie. If the person you are dating always shows you that they are always there for you, that might feel like a good thing. That concept of “they drop everything and run” is not genuine. Good people will say something like, “I will try, or I am stuck with this obligation, but I want to know about it. Can we meet later to discuss it? I know it is important to you.” Hunters will drop everything and arrive like that “knight in shining armor.” Don’t be tempted to use that as a test to see if they care.
Hunters are using it as a trap to lure you in. As Perfection can’t be sustained because of our human imperfection, they will start to make that turn into blame that they can’t be perfect because you are at fault. Blame is the next step. It goes downhill from there quickly.
Tip #3: Say the Right things
This tip will help you because no one can ever say the right thing all of the time. Would you please use your gut with this? Something inside of you should be looking for the flaws. If mistakes happen and he ignores them and creates a lie to cover up their mistake, that is a huge flag! Remember that they will demand the truth of everyone at all times, no matter the cost, but no one demands it of him.
Tip #4: Have all the answers
You need to know this tip because we don’t all have the answers about every aspect of life. If the person you are dating always has a solution or is spouting facts, tips, and rules, that is a warning! They are trying to make sure you know that they are better than you. Stop! No one ever has all the answers.
Tip #5: Friends can see no wrong
Run, run, run if this is the case. He has lied to those friends, and he has never shown the imperfections of his life to anyone. What makes you think he will suddenly offer you the truth? It is a warped sense of reality that he lives in so that he has control over you.
Now that you understand a few facts about Perfection as a Red Flag leading to Domestic Violence/abuse, you can move forward with confidence in who you are dating. But as you can see, this is just the tip of the iceberg.
If your gut is telling you that something is off, it most likely is off! Keep on digging and searching for Red flags to protect yourself. You are worth protecting and saving from this future enemy.
By the way, if you’re a woman who is dating who wants to know more about Red Flag warnings about future abuse, check out this FREE Virtual Domestic Violence Conference.
If you know of anyone who is in abuse and you want to know how to help them, here is my Supporter's Toolkit so that you can help those in abuse to become Free!